They say you should never stop dating your spouse. You need to “keep the fire alive”.
You know though, at the same time, isn’t it just so easy to fall into your day to day habits where “date night” falls by the wayside? You feel like you don’t have the time, you feel guilty for leaving the kid(s) home while you go and have fun, or you get home late from work and you just want to plop on the couch and watch another woman go on “date night” with 20 some men, instead of going on your own date.
We are guilty.
My husband, Evan, and I are guilty of all of those excuses. We made ourselves believe that we didn’t need to spend the extra time together, for God’s sake we live together! How can you possibly spend more time together when you literally sleep inches from each other?
Were we really spending time together though?
We were literally laying next to each other or existing in the same home together, but we weren’t truly connecting. Don’t get me wrong, Evan and I love each other immensely. After seven years together though, we fell into the habit of putting our relationship after the numerous other things that are in our lives – work, school, our home, our child. We were falling into a complacent style of loving each other. We were content with just being the way we were.
So, why change something if it isn’t broken, you may ask…
Well here it is folks and it’s quite simple –
We want to have an extraordinary marriage and you can’t have extraordinary without the “extra” you put into it.
With that in mind, Evan and I began thinking of ways that we could make our marriage that extraordinary relationship that we were seeking. We began listening to a few podcasts together and having conversations about what we could do to make this goal meet its end…and that’s when we realized, it isn’t really something you can accomplish in a day, a week, or even a few weeks. Creating an excellent marriage is the culmination of years of hard work, dedication, love, and the willingness to fight every single day for each other.
“So it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard. And we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me. Everyday.”The Notebook
And, with that in mind, we set off to figure out how we would begin tackling the many years we had ahead of us. How were we going to begin to focus on the relationship we had entered into “for better or worse”? What could we do to create habits that would last us our entire lives? After a few weeks of conversations, self-reflection, and a few Pinterest and Google searches later, we had decided on something that we could do to jump start our married life…Date Night.
Now, I get it, that sounds so simple, but hear me out.
This isn’t just your every few weeks we go on a “date night”, date night. This is us committing to something bigger than that. Go big or go home right?
1 day a week, for 1 year – We are committing to Date Night every single Thursday. Starting next month, we are willingly choosing to spend one day/night a week consciously making an effort to know each other better, to enjoy the other’s presence, and to do more than sleep in the same bed.
We aren’t going to feel guilty about leaving Calvin with a sitter. We aren’t going to make the excuse that we are too busy or too tired. There shouldn’t be any excuse in the book big enough (except for maybe a medical emergency – if we are bleeding profusely or maybe have a broken bone we might have to reschedule) to skip spending quality, true quality time with your spouse, so we won’t be making those excuses either.
We are making our relationship a priority again. Plain and simple
The base of our family is our marriage, so why wouldn’t we work to make it exceptional. If Date Night can just be a simple start to that, then I am going all in! Calvin can grow up seeing his parents invested in knowing each other, he can see his father being the man we want him to grow up to be. We can set the example for what an extraordinary marriage is and we can’t wait to get started.
We are going to be writing and recording about each Date Night, each week, for the people who want to follow us on this journey. Maybe you want to start the same thing and need some ideas, or you just want to see what kind of fun we find over the next year. Either way we want you to join us along the way. We want you to learn with us, grow with us, and encourage us as the next year unfolds.
Evan and I are embarking on a 52-week journey. We are on a mission of making every Date Night remind us of our first. We can’t wait to share this year of excitement and adventures with you.
For now, I gotta go wash all my good bras and shave my legs – It’s almost time for DATE NIGHT!
XOXO – Olivia